How many things are you mothering? For me, it starts with my cats (Frosty, Halle, Angel, and Snowflake), then the dogs (Sadie, Lucy, Sebastian, Dank). Of course you can't leave out my two beautiful girls. But it just keeps going, expanding out from that small group. I find myself mothering friends and their kids. In fact, there is no end to it. Despite the fact that “I “know better,” I mother all those who come my way. Sometimes, it ends in heartbreak. I allowed my girls to keep the stray cat who was pregnant. I delivered those kittens and loved them. Then, when the time came, I held each of them as they died. I listened as the vet told me that the other cats were at risk. I have mourned the loss of Reba, my baby among the cats. And now I am agonizing over the decision to put to sleep the one cat who has feline leukemia.
And yet, each and every one of these animals I am mothering is only mine for a while. Thus it is as it is supposed to be. All of us, great and small are only for this earth for a little while. When we are meant to go, we go. Maybe that is what this experience with the cats dying is. In mothering my children and comforting them at the loss of each kitten and feeling my own grief has forced me to realize or at the very least recognize that none of us can claim ownership; at best we are on loan and we must accept that we are parts of a larger whole and that we are lucky in whatever time we have. For although all those I am mothering are only mine for a while they are mine for right now with all the responsibility that goes along with them. I will take care of them as best I can for as long as I can but I have to let go as soon as they show interest in leaving.
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